mercoledì 9 gennaio 2013

Thirteenth Day, Chiang Mai Vice

There are days when you feel a little bit tired. Yesterday was one of these days.
I'm close to the end of this trip. The many things done plus the idea that everything is going to finish. Our life, I mean...

I'm depressed because I was sexually harassed.

Let's go in order.

This morning I woke up at 7. Very slowly. I had a big breakfast and organized the next two days. I haven't done much to organize them, to be honest. Just booked one of the adventurous travels set up by the guest house where I'm staying. I'll get to this point at the end.

Lazy day. Hanging around the old city of Chiang Mai. Temples, temples, temples. Still don't know if there are more temples or 7eleven in Thailand.

I simply walked around, getting lost in the tiny lanes of the old city and finding the way out with the GPS.

After the third beautiful temple (skipped the fourth that three was already a good number) I stopped for lunch. The place was very nice, but it was infested of mosquitos. When I went to the toilet I found out why.

The ceiling was completely covered by a thick web, with a big white spider supervising the works. On the door a note with the name of the spider. "harmless for humans, maybe it can catch some mosquitos from time to time". Let nature take its course! One day the spiders will spread to the dining area and we will get rid of the mosquitos. This must have been the idea of the restaurant guy.

Sexual harassment.

I wanted to try the famous Thai massage. Chiang Mai is famous for that, even more than Bangkok. The guide says that.

The guide says also where is the best place to take a massage. It's an international school of massage, right outside the clearly defined perimeter of the old city.

The guide doesn't tell where it is. It reports the name of the street (a long street), and then that the school is in front of a certain building. No reference of the school or the other building on the map of he guide. It's Rough Guide, by the way.

After a lot of wandering around I finally found it. And I was sexually harassed.

Have you ever tried a Thai massage? It's not the massage I had in mind. They stretch twist and punch you until your body surrenders and decides to relax. The body pretends to be dead, so that maybe they will stop the torture. Opossum strategy.

The lady didn't speak a word of English.

She gave me a shirt and some loosened trousers to wear. Should I keep or not the underwear? I opted for no underwear.

She started with the leg. The left leg. I love my legs, they make me run. I'm left foot, I need it to kick at football. You can imagine how much I was concerned about my running and football career, when she started punching the left triceps.

"They are muscles, no cramps, no cramps" I wanted to say. But to whom?

She indulged a couple of time on the groin area. Apparently she had to. But still, I didn't like her "accidentally" touching my weenie.

It was as uncomfortable as when she touched her boobs with my feet.

Then I had the proof. When she finished the lower area she slapped my bottom. Yes she did. And no guru of massage can convince me that that was a step of the ritual.

I must say though, that slap boosted my self-esteem. Even a 40-50 year old Thai masseuse can appreciate the bottom of a runner.

The upper part of the body had less critical points.

After an hour and a half my body was conquered. She mumbled something in Thai, and I thanked for the slap.

If there's time after the jungle I may take another massage there. Next time oil massage, maybe.

Right, the jungle. Tomorrow I'm leaving for some trekking and other activities in the jungle. It's a two day trip, we will sleep in some place far from Chiang Mai, where the Hills Tribes live.

It is foreseeable that tomorrow, 10 January 2013, I will be without wifi for the whole day.

If you don't see any new post on 11 January it may be that I'm dead. Either the Hills Tribes turned out to be cannibals, or I was squeezed by an elephant. Or simply my mobile fell into the river during the bamboo rafting.

I really hope it's not the last case, I can't live without my smartphone.

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